Why We Hate Change and How We Need It

We have all been told to “embrace change” though few of us really know what to do with it. We may push back on the idea of change because it upsets our sense of security and safety, or because we have a difficult time seeing the immediate benefit of modifying an area of our lives. Change is also often referred to in a negative manner and associated with words like fear, failure, and uncertainty, which can make it all the more challenging to pursue when the time is right.

The Discomfort of a Routine Upset

A lot of people are uncomfortable with the thought of change because it means entering a place of unfamiliarity. We are creatures of habit and find comfort in routine, even if that routine is no longer serving us. Even the smallest of disruptions to our daily life can take time to get comfortable with, and some individuals take longer than others to ease into a new norm. Our routine is also what helps us feel in control. When we experience an upset in our daily routine, it make us feel powerless; however, when we lean into new opportunities and experiences and visualize a new ending in place of the one we’ve been used to, it can help give us the sense of control we crave while also teaching us the importance of letting go.

With Growth Comes Grief

Change is another name for growth. While we all anticipate growth in our lives, what we often don’t realize is with growth comes grief. We may find ourselves mourning the loss of relationships that don’t fit like they used to, or opportunities that no longer suit us and our purpose. Just as we outgrow clothing from time to time, we are just as likely to outgrow interests and connections. This can be hard to accept and we may feel as though we are to blame, but it is important to remember you are exactly where you need to be in this moment. When you find yourself mournful, take time to thank your past for the fond memories and move forward.

So, Why Change?

Though it can seem easier to settle into a life of contentment, change has the ability to transform our lives and create opportunities we’ve only ever dreamed of. For one, leaning into the possibility of change can inspire self-confidence and offer you a clearer direction in life. If you ask those around you, you’d be surprised to find that many of their most treasured memories and celebrated accomplishments are the result of changes that occurred in their lives. Some of the other benefits of change include:

Personal Growth

Transformation is an experience. Change on any level can teach you a lot about yourself, including what is ultimately important to you and your willingness to achieve your goals. It’s important to note that your transformational journey won’t be linear. In fact, part of the process is about encountering struggles in order to navigate your way around them. This is what helps us grow in our interpersonal relationships as well as our relationship with ourselves.

Adaptability

Getting comfortable with change can teach you to become flexible in new environments and around people from all different backgrounds. Whether the changes we are making are big or small, learning to adapt can help us develop emotional resilience. This is the inner force that we call upon to calm our minds when our thoughts are in overdrive. Learning to adapt to new changes can help strengthen our ability to reason with ourselves in moments of internal frenzy.

Life Values

You may find that welcoming change can offer you a new perspective or heighten your current values and beliefs. Often times, we are faced with change when our values don’t align with the life we’re living. This conflict can arise in the form of inauthentic relationships, unfulfillment in a professional role, or in any way we feel our integrity is being compromised. The bottom line is that leaning into the unknown territory of change can help us feel more connected with the convictions we hold dearly.